


"That" Way

by Milkynubs



Category: Dangan Ronpa
Genre: Angst, Despair, Despair Sisters, Despaircest, F/F, Japanese Honorifics, One-Sided Relationship, Secret Crush, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-01
Updated: 2013-05-01
Packaged: 2017-12-10 02:51:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/780921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Milkynubs/pseuds/Milkynubs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You refuse to ever, ever admit that you love your sister "that" way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"That" Way

    You love your sister, but not in the way one might think.

    It wasn't always like this, but it began long ago. You knew something felt unusual back in elementary school; her scent, her touch, her laugh, the way she whined when she couldn't have her way, how her hair flowed, would bring _something_ out in you. This was definitely fondness of some sort, but you passed it off as familial. You know now, though, that this feeling _has_ to be something more.

    Although it seemed to start in elementary, you didn't begin to notice your feelings until the both of you entered junior high. If Junko knew how you felt during those years, she would have drooled at your pathetic despair. Junko was, of course, very popular with boys and girls alike. She was just beginning her modeling career and your family could now afford a nicer living space... a space in which she'd invite boys. It really shouldn't have mattered to you, since she just wanted to toy with them and tease them and turn them down once they thought they had a chance, and yet, sickeningly, you still wished you were in their place. You found yourself unable to sleep most nights, scorning your disgusting and masochistic wishes to have your heart directly broken by your little sister. You wanted to be the one to please her with the shame, the anguish, the torment of your lewd attraction, and yet you were not (and are not) ready to face her judgment.

    Something was definitely wrong with Junko, who grew more erratic everyday, but your parents didn't feel it was necessary to do anything about it. Eventually she began scheming about ways to cause classmates emotional pain, and though she clearly needed professional help, you knew you had to assist her if you wanted her attention. You learned not to care about ruining others' lives, so long as Junko was entertained, and during the school years you had a wonderful relationship with eachother.

     During the summer, however, it was harder to keep Junko happy. You'd always be labeled “disappointment”. _She just wants to see me despair,_ you would think, and though it may be true, it still hurt more than it should have. It's bad enough to be disappointing to your little sister, but even worse to be disappointing to someone you... love like _that_. And so, you'd always shatter your cold exterior for her. As she stared you down with her frighteningly satisfied eyes – face locked in an expression of condescension – and told you how terrifying your “killer eyes” were and how much of a disappointment you were, you'd hold in your tears then pretend to break, just as she liked. Words like that only hurt coming from your sister, but you knew she wasn't serious. She hurts you because she's fond of you. That's what you tell yourself, anyway.

    But the truly despair-inducing things she'd say were the affectionate things; Junko's version of affectionate, at least. _“You actually look kinda pretty in that! So unusual for you, upupu...”_ ; _“I'm smart and you're violent. It's like we were made to be a duo, huh!”_ ; _“Mukuro-neetan is so cool! Junko wants to be cool like big sis!”;_ with every hug and every word of approval, you were always reminded your sister loved you, but... not in _that_ way. Your emotions conflicted and all you wanted to do was curl up and forget everything. Forget that you're in love with your sister, forget that you can never be together, forget that you're so pathetic you let her use you as a pawn and emotionally abuse you just to make her pleased with you.

    Inevitably, you'll be taking your shameful secret to the grave. You've never told a soul or written about your feelings anywhere. No one can ever know, _especially_ Junko. You refuse to ever, ever admit that you love your sister _that_ way.


End file.
